Quiet Disposition / Slow Destruction

A man gets angry and blows his top. A woman is pushed to her limit and rages ij the check-out line. A child throws a temper tantrum. All of these outbursts of negative emotions are detrimental to good health.It is not at all hard to realize the destructive qualities of the more obviously negative emotions. But perhaps even more destructive are the more quiet of negative emotions. 

I sat with a woman last night who lost her husband a few months ago. Her relationship with her husband was one of love and respect. They shared mutual interests and joys. Their lives were completely intertwined. His sudden death left her alone and ultimately lonely. She no longer found joy in things that they had shared. It seemed that everything that she did reminded her of her loss. She had sunk into despair, loneliness and depression. No one had noticed. As far as her neighbors and family knew, she was adjusting well. She kept to herself, but they did not recognize her isolation as a response to the desperation that she felt. 

It was her son that recognized that she was not doing well. I came to her home, and immediately saw signs of high blood pressure, stress, and physical anxiety. 

We sat together, and within two hours, I saw her stress level go down. She talked of her past, her grandmother, her husband, their friendship. She was calm sometimes, she cried others. It was a healthy dialogue. Quickly she was sitting calmly and her flushed face and trembling hands were folded demurely in her lap. 

This woman was suffering from depression and isolation. Her emotions were eroding her health. 

I spoke with her about the importance of finding a new outlet for her emotions. Instead of her desire to internalize her pains, she needs to find various activities that will expose her to future friendships and relationships that will give her an outlet for her emotions. She no longer attended church. She used to be involved with elderly in the home where her mother used to live. I encouraged her to attend church this weekend, to bake a dozen cookies and visit the home where her mother lived.

Just getting out and engaging with others will help her. She will find people who will value her and she will be able to release some of the great pain that she feels. She will IN TURN be blessed with the positive happenings and emotions that we feel when we interact with others. I am looking forward to her growth through this grieving process and into the new life that she will find!